So That's Done

The Bad Speller and I have very different ideas as to where our relationship should go.

He is Mr. Right Now, for me, but he wants me to be his future Mrs. Bad Speller*.  You see the problem.

So we are not seeing each other again, in order to avoid hurting his tender feelings.  It was his idea, and we had an argument about it that went something like this:

Me:  Why we gotta be labelin' stuff  after a week?
Him:  I  LIKE YOU.
Me:  How can you even know that?
Him:  I LIKE YOU.
Me:  Why don't we just have a good time?
Him:  I LIKE YOU.

I'm not good at the breakup stuff, even if it doesn't really count as a breakup, because what we were doing doesn't really count as a relationship.

This dating stuff.  Good lord.


*Not that I blame him.  I'm awesome.

Discovery!

It turns out that I WILL go out* with a guy who uses the wrong form of your/you're.

I did not know this about myself.  Interesting.






*Also, I will fuck him.

Winking is dumb

On Match.com, there's a feature very similar to Facebook's poking, whereby strangers can "wink" at someone they think is cute.

First, the idea is dumb, okay?  In real life, I can't tell a wink from a blink, and sometimes maybe a person doesn't mean to wink at anyone, and she just has something in her eye, so this is not an invitation for you to DANCE UP ON HER.

That never happened.

Second, winking is what people who haven't paid the monthly fee do in order to get someone who has laid out her hard-earned money to message THEM, which is allowed, I guess.  It just seems devious to me.  Also, I would like to be reimbursed for that.

Third, every single person who has winked at me has been old and/or ugly.

THIS SYSTEM IS BROKEN.

I am hot

Well, look at that.  At least half of the users on OKC are uglier than I am.  Top 50th percentile!

This is worrying, though:

... because the only new person in my match results is wearing eyeliner and a cowboy hat.  Not even a REAL cowboy hat, but the kind that Bret Michaels would wear--really small and with the sides rolled up.

I am concerned about OKC's standards for attractiveness.  What does that mean for me?  Am I really only as attractive as an eyelined Rock of Love wannabe?  

I think I'm insulted.

Also, this makes me twitch in righteous anger:

AS IF I would have ugly friends. Pfft.

Where are all the good men?

During a conversation re: a message I got from an asshole on OKC--

BFF: I have to say that the most educated, well-spoken men I found were the ones on eHarmony. I guess you do need to pay to get the good ones.

Me: eHarmony is a pimp, and not in a good way.

Dear Lord in Heaven

Dear Match.com Uhhhh ..... Yeah, she sparks my interest. Thanks for sending her to me..... 

I just ...

So THIS happened

My First Foot Fetishist