He asks me if I'm into freaky stuff, and I reply that I'm as vanilla as can be, but I can be persuaded.
He asks what's the weirdest thing I've ever watched, and I reply that I don't really like watching that stuff. (And why would I, Internet? I am a DO-er, not a watcher.)
I ask what kinds of things he likes to watch, and he replies that he's watched a girl with a dog.
Now, I didn't want to judge, because maybe he was just trying to shock me. Which he did.
I ask what he likes to DO, since doing and watching are two different things, and he replies by asking me if I would ever do that.
"Be with a dog?" I ask. "No thanks."
"Ohhhhh, okay, haha," he replies.
HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE THAT.
"I don't know if you meant to imply that you are into bestiality," I say, "but that's what this comes off as, and yes, it freaks me out."
"Oh, haha," he says, "no, it's just something I saw once."
"Dude," I say, "next time, you need to reveal your kinks slowly. Here, let's practice: What kind of stuff do you like?" because I am a second-chances kind of gal, and I know that sometimes people just spout a bunch of shit via texts/IMs that they'd never say in public.
"Role-playing," he says, which: whatever. I'm not gonna lie; I like it.
EXCEPT let's say you're ... a nurse, okay, and you work in the ward with comatose people all day. That's not really a space you want to explore sexually, am I right? So I read this, "Role-playing," and then I hope and pray the next words aren't "nurse/coma patient."
But no. "Nurse/coma patient," he says.
"That hits kind of close for me," I say. "But role-playing can be fun."
"I think nurse/coma patient is hot," he says. "Can't help it lol."
I see there is no way I'm going to win with this one, so:
