Dodging Bullets

During my totally-legitimate-and-not-at-all-creepy stalking of Zack's profile, I got a message in my OKC inbox.

This is what it said:

Hi Gorgeous, 
I scrolled through your profile and your charming pic caught my sight! Am single and I'm here to look for my soul mate. I see some potentials in you and the inner glow in your eyes lights me up glancing through your pic. I'm new in all these and do not come around here often, maybe we'd hook up on my email wannaseemypenis@myflyisopen.com*, I hope to hear from you via my email! Good night and sweet dreams. 
K--

All right, I admit it's not that bad. But still, come on. The inner glow in my eyes dimmed somewhat on account of I was narrowing them in disbelief.  I don't think he'd be too interested in my potential to mock the shit out of him for this email.

*not his email, but probably somebody's